|Guess what I had yesterday......|
A small sampling of exchanges from yesterday's colonoscopy, presented without comment:
Trying to explain the art of anesthetization:
Anesthesiologist: It's like tequila. After a few shots, you're pretty comfortable and happy, but after 10 shots we could amputate a limb.
Me: That's kind of a grim example.
Anesthesiologist, looking shifty: That's how we used to do it in the old days. (he was maybe 5 years older than I am).
Two anesthesiology nurses were wheeling me to the procedure room-they went down the wrong hallway first, so I naturally did a pageant wave to the random people in the offices there. When they wheeled me into the right room I was facing the wrong way, and they had to spin me 90 degrees, which is difficult when the room is filled with large equipment and monitors and wires. Another nurse was helping them.
Nurse #1: Wheee! It's like a ride at Disneyland!
Me: With better drugs!
Nurse #2, under his breath: Probably cheaper, too.
One of the anesthesiology nurses was wearing a pair of clear goggles pushed up her head.
Me, noticing: Um, I can't help but notice you are prepared with goggles. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS GOING TO HAPPEN IN THERE??
Nurse: Oh! I always wear these! Nothing to worry about!
Me: Squinting, unconvinced.
Nurse: You're funny.