Post #99: I got 99 problems and my AAC is most (but not all!) of them

I am grumpy cat. I have embraced it. 

GIANT DRAMATIC SIGH. 

Do you know exactly what I needed this week?! A NEW medical problem. I was thinking, you know, my schedule looks pretty clear, let's add A NEW PROBLEM TO THE MEDICAL PILE. I don't see enough doctors on a weekly basis! I don't take enough weird medications! I don't get enough bills in the mail! I AM CLEARLY SLACKING OFF IN THE WEIRD MEDICAL PROBLEM DEPARTMENT. 

Ahem. 

A week or two ago I noticed some painful bumps on my head. I assumed, what with the night sweats and Prednisone (they don't mention that your entire body will produce more oil, your skin will freak out, and you will break out like a 12 year old. Fun!) that I just had a little head acne. Gross, but not alarming. Then.....the bumps colonized. First, there was an outpost on the back of my head, at the bottom of my hairline. Just one side. Then both. Then both temples, and finally....everywhere. 

I decided to cut my hair super, super short (seriously, super short-I keep wanting to bust out "I dreamed a dream" and clutch my shorn locks), thinking this would help. No dice. 

I finally went to see my dermatologist, who is a million years old and kind of hilarious, in that I always end up passing out because he discusses my gross skin problems in detail as he pokes at them, despite the nurse and I telling him to STOP IT because he's just genuinely fascinated by the details of his trade. Last time, I told him to pick a more neutral topic, and he talked about duck hunting as he removed something. It kind of helped. 

He took one look at my weird scalp and said, hmmmm......and put on gloves. Never a promising start. Apparently, I might have a staph infection. Of the scalp. I DIDN'T KNOW THAT COULD HAPPEN. Right now, in a lab somewhere, little samples of my weird rash are growing in a petri dish so that we'll know exactly what we're dealing with. He also swabbed my nose (realllllly thoroughly-the kind of nose swabbing where it feels like they touch your brain a little) and depending on what the tests reveal, I'll probably have to go on some antibiotic that will fuck with my AAC and generally make my life more miserable. 

All of this is a disgusting prelude to the fact that more than anything else-the Prednisone (tapering off it-last week! whoooo!), the whole partial obstruction bullshit, the MRE, the liquids, the pain, the bowel stuff-THIS is the medical problem that is making me sad. 

I feel dirty and gross. My head itches and I have to use this shampoo that makes me smell like an aged lumberjack (smoky and pine-y) and I am afraid of infecting someone (not that I generally rub heads with strangers, or acquaintances, really). Maybe this is so demoralizing because the problem is visible-I mean, I guess it just looks like I have some acne around my hair line so I should decrease the drama by about 65%-but still. 

I spent all day moping around and wearing a hoodie so my gross head didn't come into contact with anything. 

It's just one more thing on top of everything else, and maybe it was the one thing that caused the whole pile to tumble down. Whatever the case, I am feeling overwhelmed. I didn't need any new projects. I had enough medical problems that were occupying my time, thankyouverymuch. 

Sigh. 

Grumpy cat over and out.