Post #49.8: And now for something completely different....

I am thankful for indoor plumbing and that I don't have to poop in this haunted outhouse.

So, it seems kind of douche-y to write about my colon today.

I was watching the news, and there was one quick soundbite about 9/11-a brief montage of memorials at all of the different sites. The President held his wife's hand, and they bowed their heads in a moment of silence. Family members read the names of those killed in NYC. I was struck by the brevity of the coverage, and also by the fact that for the first time, politicians were not allowed to attend the memorial at the site of the attacks. It was, as the newscaster said over and over, becoming a day of private remembrance.

Later, I read a blog where a teacher discussed her feelings when her school held a moment of silence this morning-and she realized that none of her students were born when the towers fell. They had no real emotional connection to the event at all.

Every time there would be a news story about JFK, my mom would always say, "I remember exactly where I was that day." I used to make fun of her-you remember exactly where you were? What were you wearing? What were you doing? And now I know exactly how she felt. I don't feel disconnected from what happened. The pictures of that day, the towers falling, the dusty workers running away from the devastation, supporting each other, the paramedics and policeman and firefighters running towards it. The lines of people waiting to donate blood. The twisted metal beams set in irregular geometry at the site, like disjointed fingers pointing towards the sky. The horror-plain horror-of the newscaster's voice when the second plane hit. I do remember exactly where I was that day. I remember what I was doing, and who I was with. I remember how I felt, far from home and away from family.

It's a moment in time that still squeezes my heart.

So today, instead of talking about my AAC, I am going to make a brief list of things I am thankful for. A few of the Crohn's blogs I read do variations of the "Thankful Thursday" thing, but as useful an exercise as that would probably be for me, I can't bring myself to do it. But today, I think it's important that I try.

In no particular order, I am thankful for:

• a solid group of people who support me, no matter what shape I'm in
• patient friends
• health insurance
• the ability to pay for that health insurance
• things that divert and amuse me (TV, the six million magazines I subscribe to, hilarious neighborhood animals, postcards and letters)
• blogs, which make me feel less disconnected from the world
• this week of respite, courtesy of my steroids
• access to good doctors and nurses
• AMP's
• my living arrangements
• having the luxury (and there's no other word) to focus on my health right now

That is a small start to what should be a long list. It's hard to remember when I feel like crap that I am simultaneously very fortunate to have the help, support, and resources I need. Maybe there's something to that "Thankful Thursday" crap after all.