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| Luckily, I have an AAC. Thanks Crohn's! |
My colon is angry today. I've had to cancel plans with two different people. I thought I could "tough it out" or "power through" or any one of the many different cliches for sucking it up and going through life despite having a wayward digestive tract.
I thought I could order a sprite at the restaurant and at least get some face time with a friend who I haven't seen for a while, ignoring the delicious smells and sights of real food all around me. I wrapped up her birthday present and bought her a funny card, in preparation. Alas, my AAC had other plans, and I need to be near a bathroom.
I can feel my guts getting ready for round three, so I'll keep it short: THIS SUCKS. Lately, I've been doing my best to pretend that my Crohn's is not a problem. I decided to delay the scary new meds. I've been working out. I've been thinking about making plans, commitments.
And then a day like today: a day where I can't leave the bathroom, and then don't leave the couch. A day when it feels like I have a fever, even though I don't. A day when I want so badly to do things that make me feel normal: order food at a restaurant, spend some quality time on the treadmill-but just can't. A day when the realities of this disease wash over me, leaving me sad and spent.
It's been raining here, a strong, steady rain, like the kind they use on relaxation tapes. Sometimes I imagine myself standing outside and letting the rain wash the disease away from my body, like an impurity that can be cleansed and purged. Then my stomach gurgles and heaves, and I know it's not, and will never be, that simple.
Before this post becomes anymore depressing, I think it's time for adorable pictures of pets in Halloween costumes.
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| I'll get you my pretty! And your little dog too.....oh wait. |
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| This is kind of genius. |
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| Harry Potter cat is displeased. He will be shedding his costume in 5.....4......3......2.... |
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| Pugtato! |
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| I just found my next Halloween costume! |
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| Gah....so cute! It's probably a good idea to dress them up while they're too young to maul you. |
Ok, I feel better. And, silver lining, thanks to my AAC this will probably be the first Halloween when I don't eat half of the candy from the bowl.....
Happy Halloween!
Staying inside all the time sure makes me feel abnormal. But i have to have a restroom near so no going out for me... weened off prednisone i was on for 2 years ended up in the hospital for a few weeks because of this damn crohnies.
ReplyDeleteI feel you. It blows to be stuck at home when all you want to do is leave for a little bit and do something (anything! grocery shopping! going to the freaking post office!) that makes you feel relatively normal for a minute. I hope you're home from the hospital and feeling better-I start to taper off my steroids this week....
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