Post #41: TitillatingTriangles

Well, we are going to be talking about shapes today....so let's start with a triangle. Goat nip!

Oh google images, so random. This does, however, make me excited for the county fair I'm going to next month (they race PIGS!).

Anyhoo. Today is a post about shapes! Let's start with triangles. I was out to lunch with a friend who innocently asked how I was feeling, and I launched into a whole complicated spiel about "treatment triangles" and TNF-blockers and corticosteriods until her eyes glazed over slightly and she fell asleep in her bowl of pho. Just kidding, she wasn't eating pho!

Here is the aforementioned Crohn's treatment pyramid, or a version of it:

Hmmm. I thought I was chilling at the bottom of the pyramid, but after looking online it seems I've been in the middle the whole time! Thanks for setting me straight Internet! I suppose than that the next medicine to try would also be in the middle, making it a lateral, rather than vertical move. This is comforting, in a weird way.

 

 

At an IBD symposium that I went to, a doctor was discussing a new train of thought where the triangle is inverted; it's kind of like a scorched earth approach to treating Crohn's. Throw every medicine at the problem to force the Crohn's into remission and MAKE IT STAY THAT WAY, instead of partially or ineffectually treating it, having surgery, and then busting out the hardcore drug treatments. Of course, the further you climb up on the pyramid, the more you face some seriously scary side effects and complications (serious infections, liver damage, lymphoma.....).

Right now, as of a few days ago, I'm off the pyramid entirely for the first time in about 6 months, which feels strange. This is where it would be handy to have some friends (or relatives, neighbors, or casual acquaintances) with Crohn's-to hear their experiences on/off these drugs. There's a whole other post about my avoidance of support groups, but that has nothing to do with shapes.

Speaking of which, here is another fun pyramid:

I guess I should have called this the depressing shape hour. I think it's useful though, when trying to explain Crohn's to people who don't know much about it (me 7 months ago! boo), to fully separate the idea that IBS and IBD (Inflammatory Bowel Disease-Crohn's or Ulcerative Colitis) are twin diseases. It's not like one is the bitchy twin and one is the EVIL twin.

I I feel like some people think that Crohn's is just slightly worse IBS. At this point (thanks again Jamie Lee Curtis and the 9 different probiotic commercials on TV every night!), people are slightly more comfortable talking about their bowel issues (I mean, the commercials flat out say the words gas, diarrhea, bloating, and occasional irregularity). Now, having all of these symptoms doesn't necessarily mean you have IBS (did I sneak away from this blog and get a medical degree? No I did not), and people with IBS don't necessarily have all of these symptoms. For 10 years, I was thrown into the "IBS" category, and I know the frustration of dealing with doctors, friends, and family members who discount your "weird stomach issues." IBS can be a debilitating disease. But it is not Crohn's.

View the pyramid. Frankly, doctors have no idea what causes IBS, and the treatment options are hit or miss, at best. Technically, I still have IBS on top of the Crohn's (lucky me!), but with IBS I wasn't worried about long term DAMAGE. My immune system wasn't attacking my AAC. I was still miserable a lot of the time, or course, but not scared. Now I'm pretty scared.

Finally, let's talk about the most FAMOUS pyramid.

Nope.

More famous, but still no.

HAHAHA no. Come on. Think of 6th grade science class!

WHAT THE HELL KIND OF SCHOOL DID YOU GO TO!? I'm alerting the authorities, and maybe trying to sneak into the gym to watch that particular assembly. Also, does the penis look a little like Hugh Laurie? (the FACE perverts, the face).

People, I'm talking about THIS:

Now, I know the government has some newfangled, jacked up "new millennium!!!!" pyramid, but this will always be the food pyramid to me. What I need is for someone to make me a Crohn's food pyramid. I don't eat dairy, I don't really eat vegetables, I barely eat fruit, and I cut out white flour and sugar. So please, someone create a pyramid for my AAC. I need a realistic way of getting these foods into a system that constantly rejects them. I'm all about the smoothies, but one cannot exist on smoothies alone.

I borrowed Jessica Seinfeld's book (she purees different vegetables and "hides" them in her kid's foods-it's called "Deceptively Delicious!" ugh) from a mom friend, but it was mostly comfort food recipes (i.e., shit I can't eat) with a soupcon of veggies hidden in the cream sauce. I'm sorry, if you make mac & cheese with 1/2 cup of pureed butternut sauce, it's still MAC AND CHEESE. When your children leave the house, they will have a love of cheesy noodles, but not of squash. Do you plan to cook for them from the retirement home? Who am I kidding, they'll be able to afford macrobiotic super chefs if they desire, and probably someone to sneak into their kitchens at night and slip 1/2 cup carrot puree into their meatloaf. I don't know why that book annoys me so much.  

Thus concludes today's discussion of triangles. Stay tuned for super exciting posts about circles, squares, and trapezoids! (ok not trapezoids, but 50 pts. for me for remembering that word from geometry, which I have thoroughly repressed. yeah!).