Post #33: Story time with PICTURES. oooooh.

 Let's have a story with PICTURES!

Intro: Once upon a time, a friend came over with the following:

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She mixed together the first two ingredients, and then gently spooned the mixture into fresh, organic, basil leaves for a light, gluten-free appetizer.

It looked like this:

 

All I could think was, this is like vegetarian caviar! And we're so fancy, eating it out of HERBS.

Ok, not that fancy-there were flip flops involved. But! Eating delicious food, socializing-it felt nice, and normal. I was already planning on making the dip for a garden party cocktail thing, if I were to have one of those, for some reason.....

And can we talk about lentils for a second?? I have been avoiding high fiber foods and foods with an outer, undigestible "skin" (beans, corn, lentils). I read one IBS/Crohn's cookbook that suggested removing these "skins" before cooking-but the thought of standing over the counter popping chickpeas out of their casing was too depressing to contemplate. But yesterday, I remembered how much I miss TEXTURE. The slight bite of the outer shell, the creamy, smooth interior, the musky, smoky taste of the lentils....

I ate a lot of it. For lunch and dinner.

And then this happened. In this picture, the bridge represents my colon, and the runners represent the lentils. It wasn't this exciting, and it didn't take 5 hours to complete (actually, it kind of did), but everyone did make it to the finish line! And off the bridge. If you get what I'm saying. I think you do.

And then I took a 3 hours nap, drank a lot of fluids, and felt sorry for myself.

THE END.

So, what did we learn from this encounter? Lentils and fiber and "skins," oh my! All things that make my AAC....angrier. As I continue to taper, and pretend things are stabalized, I somethings forget that there is a new reality. I can't let myself get fooled by a few good days. There are foods that are definitely more off-limits than they were. A bunch of freaking lentils sidelined me for an entire day. I'm exhausted.

I guess lentils, for now, go on the fuck you food list. Lentils, I'd like to introduce you to fried foods, red meat, cruciferous vegetables, dairy, excessive amounts of avocado, black beans, high fiber cereals, and Indian food. I hope you're all very happy together, because you're making me miserable.