Post #49: Really? Really?!

Taking pills this way would be less traumatizing and NO I'M NOT STRESSED OUT ABOUT TOMORROW WHY DO YOU ASK?!

Sigh.

I usually don't post every day, because I don't think anyone needs to hear about my AAC more than like twice a week, but I'm going a little stir crazy so here's another post. Embrace it.

I thought I'd include another edition of "stupid shit people say to me about my Crohn's." I would call it just "stupid shit people say," but then I would have too much material. For the record, I don't write down all of the stupid shit (re: Crohn's) that people say to me; I don't have a secret notebook where I rate the comments by stars according to hilarity, lack of empathy, or cluelessness, although that's kind of a good idea. To the scene! 

The scene: long distance phone call with distant elderly relative.

This relative has only the BEST INTENTIONS towards me, so I didn't take it personally. You will note that  I was kind of at a loss about how to respond (see below) to pretty much the entire conversation. However, I did refrain from making sarcastic comments, which is obviously a sign of personal growth. Enjoy!

Relative: So, what's up with you? How are you feeling?
Me: Well, not so hot (I thought someone told her about my Crohn's). You know.
Relative: Oh really? What's going on?
Me: Oh, I thought you already knew. I was diagnosed with Crohn's a few months ago.
Relative: OH NO. That is terrible. I am so, so sorry! That is terrible, just terrible.
Me: Um, thanks? It's ok, I'm going to try a new medication next week, so....
Relative (on a roll): What a drag! I'm just so sorry. God! Well, I guess this is just evidence that bad things happen to good people. I'm so sorry.
Me: Um, thanks?
Relative: You know, I knew a young lady who had it. She tried every medication they had, but they didn't work, she ended up taking the whole thing out.
Me: uhhh......
Relative: But she's totally fine now! In fact, after the surgery, she managed to find a husband.
Me: What kind of surgery did she have?
Relative (still rolllllling along): You know, she never was a looker, kind of a big girl. She didn't even have a pretty face, but she still found a guy!
Me: Um, good for her?
Relative: Wow, such bad news. I'm so, so sorry. God. That's terrible, just terrible.
Me: Thanks. SO HOW'S THE WEATHER NEAR YOU?

Sigh.