Post #21: My colon is a WILD HORSE ON THE RANGE

Mostly I wish I don't have to poop again in the next 10 minutes. I should set my sights higher. WORLD PEACE!

Today is kind of a hard day, the anniversary of a death of a family member. It's been a long time, but sometimes the wound still feel fresh.

But let's talk about my colon! Because that's what this blog is all about, no? Today my colon is displeased with.....something. I'm tired and still fighting off this cold (I guess that's what happens when your immune system is busy ATTACKING YOUR HEALTHY TISSUE). I'm going to taper again next week, and I'm stressed out about that. I have the sneaking suspicion that following the last taper my doctor will want another colonoscopy (it's been 6 months since the first one that started this whole Crohn's party). I'm still paying off the festival of invasive testing that happened in Jan/Feb. I start work again in September, so I feel like there's a timeline to this whole process, which is pressure I don't need.

I read through the paperwork that the insurance company sent me, and the thing they want me to enroll in is called the "Rare Disease Condition Management Program." I didn't think Crohn's was that rare, but whatever. Apparently, they assign you a special nurse who coordinates with your doctor to help you "manage" your super special disease. I don't feel like I need another voice (especially one who is tied to my insurance company) involved in my medical decision making process, so I think I will decline. There is something about the term "management" that pisses me off (prepare for a rant!). Management is what you do when you are a mid-level executive at a company that produces ball point pens. It is not something you do for my colon, which like a wild horse, is a wily and unpredictable creature. You can't shove my horse colon in a simple box and stamp it "managed." I feel like that metaphor went awry at some point, but I think you get the picture.

I'll ask my doctor about it when I go in for my next visit.

In other news, people keep asking me to babysit things for them (people, houses, dogs, small rodents) while they go on vacation. This is depressing because they assume, correctly, that I will be around to watch their business while they galavant about the country (ok, visiting Michigan is not that exciting, but it's still different than HERE). I think I might have another gig lined up for next weekend. sigh.

I am going to run to the bathroom (again) and get ready for a hair appointment. I'm going to change my hair color in an attempt to perk myself up. This week my AAC (and my cold, and some other random medical shizz) has kind of steamrolled me and pushed out all of my energy and give-a-shit. Maybe a new hair color will give me back some much needed attitude.