Post #68: I am not FB friends with my AAC

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You went out for "thirsty Thursday" with your friends?! You have opinions about the election?? GET IN MY PANTS NOW.



Today's prompt: Should people post about their (or loved ones) health on Facebook? Why/why not?

 

Oh, Facebook. Home of sunny vacation pictures, carefully staged food photo ops, and babies of varying degrees of cuteness.

 

I was a latecomer to the FB game; I joined after the initial frenzy, and as a result I have a reasonable number of "friends" (i.e. not over 500). I can't imagine broadcasting news of my AAC to even that pared down list, let alone a collection of hundreds of virtual strangers. I'm not going to judge people who do post about their IBD, but I am not comfortable talking about mine on FB. I don't even "like" Crohn's organizations or blogs. I don't want people to know that way.

 

Here's the deal: FB is mostly about three things. First, it's where you go to show how awesome your life is. People post engagement pictures, wedding pictures, new baby pictures.....FB has replaced old timey life cycle announcements in newspapers (unless you are super fancy/loaded, in which case you will always have the New York Times wedding section). In my baby book, my mom cut out my birth announcement from the local paper; that was how her friends knew I had been born. Today, she would post a picture of me in my little hospital blanket and baby hat on facebook minutes after I was expelled from her womb.

 

Second, Facebook is also the home of the "humble brag." I was reading an article in a lady magazine when I first encountered this term, and it's so freaking applicable. A few examples:

 

1.) My back is so sore! Loading those pallets of diphtheria vaccines for Doctors without Borders can sure tire a girl out!

 

2.) Marathon training is hard, but I'm doing it for cancer research! It's a good thing my new boyfriend Steve, the doctor, is there to help bandage my wounds and rub my bloody feet. Thanks honey!

 

3.) Wow, my new job is hard. I don't have time for a social life, but I guess traveling the world for the Gates Foundation and ensuring that all of the earth's children have access to clean drinking water is worth missing a few happy hours.

 

People have become MASTERS of the humble brag on FB; it's natural to want to share the details of your fabulous life/job/relationship, but you don't want to be an asshat about it. What you realllllly want, of course, is validation about your (awesome!) life experience in the form of a virtual thumbs up.

 

Finally, FB is the place to demonstrate your highly attuned social consciousness or offer biting tidbits of social commentary. It's the new place to show off your smarts. This became glaringly apparent during the elections, when suddenly every single FB friend turned into Thomas Friedman, offering solutions to fix the economy and bon mots about the quirks of the American electoral process.

 

So. If FB is about sharing awesomeness or humble-bragging or proving that you read stuff, how exactly does Crohn's fit into that mix? Here are things you will never see me post on Facebook:

• Going in for my colonoscopy-who spent 18 of the last 24 hours having explosive diarrhea? THIS GIRL!
• Just got back my weekly blood work-I am the inflammation queen! #blooddrawallstar
• At least all of this medication related hair loss is making my hair easier to style! (SMILEY FACE)
• Had to cancel lunch plans -sticking with toast and Gatorade today! Whooooooo!
• 3 doctor's appointments in one week? How did I get so lucky? AWESOME SAUCE!

 

Ok, I don't really talk like that, but you get the point. These are not momentous life events that I want to share-these are frustrating, everyday occurrences that don't merit posting on the FB wall of awesomeness. Unless my AAC wins a Nobel Prize while vacationing in Tahiti with Colon Firth (ha!), you're not going to hear about it.

 

When I first got diagnosed, I briefly toyed with the idea of making some grand announcement on FB, because I knew my friends and "friends" would offer kind and supportive words, but ultimately I decided that this was one thing I was going to keep private. I choose to do my over sharing on an anonymous blog. A few friends know about it; if they want to know how my AAC is faring, they can come here. If not, they can read my status updates about the election. It's their choice, and that's important.