Post the fifth!

Haha angry bread. NOW GET IN MY BELLY.

So: tomorrow I taper. Two pink pills instead of three. Things have been quiet this week, and it's so hard for me to contemplate altering this fragile state in any way.

The weather here is gorgeous-close to 80 degrees but not hot, with a soft breeze that smells new and clean, like sunshine and blooming plants and dirt. It makes you want to close your eyes and tilt your head towards the sky so you can feel it glide over your skin. Neighbors are starting to BBQ, and when I went to run errands this afternoon my car was hot inside when I returned. I'm not sure why this made me happy, but it did.

Now things will start to change again. Maybe things will stay the same; I don't know what will happen. But it's been a while since I had a good week, so I'm appreciative of the interlude, however brief.

Tomorrow I go to Whole Foods and stock up on some less carb-tastic basics. I'll start taking fish oil, a multivitamin, iron, and vitamin D. When I was first diagnosed, I bought this weekly pill container, because at that time I was taking 14 or 15 pills a day, but I resisted using it because that would mean I was "sick". Tomorrow, I'll fill it with up and actually use it. I will TRY not to turn to Dr. Google to read about any discontinuation horror stories. The one thing my actual doctor did mention was that some of his patients had "trouble regulating their body temperature" as they tapered off the steroids.

I have no idea what that means.

The only thing that comes to mind is how some pugs and bulldogs simply cannot tolerate extreme cold or heat. My neighbors just got the most adorable bulldog puppy, and he has about 15-20 minutes of exertion in him before he simple drops, panting, and stretches out all of his legs, like, "I'm done bitches!" He then must be picked up and deposited on the couch. I was out shopping and I saw a "cool pad" summer dog bed, which is essentially a giant ice pack.  If for some reason I start to get hot flashes, I fully intend to purchase one of those dog beds and roll around on it in the middle of the living room. And if anyone complains, I'll just be like, "Bitches, I am DONE." I'm not sure how this will work if I happen to be in the  middle of Target when I get a flash, but I'll see how it goes. That is probably where I would buy the bed anyway.

I'm off to finish wrapping my mother's day present-I actually got my shit together to buy stuff (which is a bigger deal than it sounds like).

I am going to sit outside and try to think happy tapering thoughts while I enjoy the sun, even though it makes me freckle like one of those spotted chicken eggs in the Clinique "before" advertisements. The neighbors are barbecuing, and I want to smell all of the delicious meat that I can't digest right now.